Hi, My Name is Pepsi

I grew up on the Colville Indian Reservation in Inchelium, Washington- a rural patch of paradise. Growing up surrounded by the beauty of untouched mountains and beautiful landscapes helped shape me into the person I am today. As beautiful as it all was, however, growing up 'rural' wasn't the only influencing factor in my early childhood years. Growing up a shrimpy, uncoodinated, pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blonde definitely had its challenges.

Let me paint a scene for you:

Rewind to 1991. Zoom in on the second grade class at Inchelium. See that tiny, bugeyed girl in the corner wearing a bright green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sweatsuit? Yeah. That's me.

See those weird metal bands on my two front teeth (my two CHICKLET teeth)? Those are supposed to keep my teeth from drifting apart.

Sweet, right?

As you might imagine, I wasn't even close to being the most popular student in my class. That award went to Randi Pakootas (the most beautiful of beauties) and David Tonasket (the most athletic of athletes). On the popularity list of the 20 students in my class, I think I landed somewhere near that 19th mark, right in front of a kid that publicly picked his nose.

Second grade for anyone is usually not the greatest of years, but I stuggled more than most. My almost transluscent skin didn't help either because there was no way I could blend in with my popular classmates. My only hope was to try to figure out a way to make myself more popular.

I tried dressing better and wearing cooler shoes (LA GEAR) with neon shoelaces. I even begged Mom to buy me a Crayola t-shirt with a giant Crayon on the sleeve 'cause I thought it would win me bonus points with the classroom fashionistas.. Yeah, wearing that to school got me nowhere.

Next, I tried cutting my hair. My new short hairdo failed miserably and almost got me bumped to #20 on the popularity list afterall, nose-picking habits can be overcome a lot faster than a terrible haircut.

Okay, clothes and hair didn't work. What about....um....

I racked my brain. Nothing seemed to work. I just wasn't happy at #19. I wanted more. I convinced myself I was too cool to be last. I HAD to improve on myself, fast.

It wasn't until almost the end of second grade that I devised my master plan to gain instant fame. It came to me one day when the conversation turned to the beverage that dominated the 1990's: Pepsi.

You see, everyone LOVED Pepsi in my class. Students came to school carrying Pepsi in their right hand and their backpack in the other. That cola was the hit of not only the Reservation, but of America. Highly sought after, Pepsi was numero uno, Kahuna grande with second graders. Like a caffine addict craves that beverage, I craved its popularity.

And, just like that, my scheme unfolded. I figured that "Vivian"was a pretty dorky name. In fact, "Vivian" held me back from rising to the top of the cool list. Who names their kid Vivian, anyway?

I decided to do what comes natural: be phony and tell everyone that Pepsi is my real name. It makes sense, right? Get rid of my old ladyname and take on the name of the most popular thing in school- a no brainer. Popularity, here I come.

On the playground, when the conversation turned to Pepsi, I chimed in:
"My name's Pepsi" I said.
"Huh?" Everyone else looked perplexed.
"Yeah, Vivian is my middle name but my real name is Pepsi." I said again, trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about.
"Cool".

Cool? That's all I get? COOL?! Where's the cheering? Why isn't the student body carrying me around on their shoulders? Why isn't David Tonasket trying to be my boyfriend!?

Cool was better than nothing, though, so I went with it. The lie went all the way from lunch recess to the last hour of the day when we were told to write Mother's Day cards and I signed mine "Love, Pepsi"- classmates really bought it then. I mean, signing my own mother's card with a cursive 'Pepsi' was a very convincing move... until someone called my bluff.

"No Sir. Your name ain't Pepsi, it's Vivian"
"Um... I ... uh..." I stumbled. I faltered. I failed. Keeping up with the falsehood had me tired and worn out; I caved.

"Okay, you're right. My name is Vivian."

And so, that marked my descent to spot #20 where I stayed... for quite some time.

_______________________________________

The Pepsi Story is a tale I tell my students every year when the subject of 'lying to gain popularity' comes up. They laugh and I laugh and we're all reminded of a little lesson: don't try to be someone you're not... because the world is better off with the REAL you rather than the fake one you're attempting to be. Be happy with who you are, the person you were created to be...blonde hair and all.