Busy.

There are a couple of topics that have been running through my mind lately- one of them is how busy Americans are- including myself. Here's a little note about busyness, it is in no way intended to sound preachy, but is intended to challenge you and me. 'Busy' doesn't necessarily mean 'productive' and it hardly ever means 'fulfilled'.

Imagine:

A frail man lies in bed with his family around him. Gathering as much strength as he has left, the old man lifts his hand to summon everyone closer- he slightly lifts his head and opens his eyes to see all of his loved ones near. He takes a shallow breath and forms one last sentence:
“I wish I would have spent more time working at the office.”

And then he dies.

If you’re having a hard time getting this to play out in your mind, that’s probably because things like this don’t happen. Men and women don’t ever reflect on their life and say that they wish they would have worked more-  worked later, harder, more frantically, no one every says “Gee, I guess I could have used a little more stress in my life.” It just doesn’t happen. Instead, what happens is that people work their fingers to the bone, sacrifice their relationships, their health, and their sanity only to regret it later.

Have you ever heard a mother complain about her kids’ hectic schedule? “Joey has soccer, Anna has ballet, and Madison has piano…I just don’t think we’re going to get home before 9 o’clock.”  

 Have you ever heard someone brag about how many miles they put on their car? “Dude, I put 2000 miles on my car last week” it’s like they’re looking for the ‘I Drove the Wheels off My Car Because I Am So Busy’ Prize.

What about the guy that brags about how many hours of work he put in? “I worked 60 hours this week and then went home on the weekend to help remodel my friend’s house- I haven’t slept in two and a half days.”

Have you ever heard a college student say “I just read fourteen chapters of biochem. and now I am off to study group…right after I finish typing this twelve page paper.”

If you answered yes to any of these, or maybe you’re finding that you are the one saying them, you’re not alone- Americans are busy- too busy. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Is someone forcing you to be so frazzled or are you filling your schedule with things that only add to your stress? Is it worth it?

I recently got into a conversation with a friend back home who was trying to decide whether to drive across the state of Washington right after work ended at 5pm or to wait and drive back the next day. I encouraged him to spend the night and make the 8 hour drive that next morning. He seemed to have  a hard time with the idea- like NOT being in a rush made him uncomfortable. Somewhere along the line, this friend of mine has been convinced that being busy is noble and that taking time for himself is ‘lazy’.  

Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard:
“You gotta work hard if you want to get ahead in this world, Son.” This bit of advice is usually passed down from generation to generation and, to some extent, I totally agree. Yes, it does take hard work to get ahead- but that’s not the only requirement for success. Notice that the statement is “You gotta work hard…” not “You gotta be really, really busy…”

The old man in the scenario written at the top didn’t say “I wish I would have spent more time working at the office” because when a person has a chance to reflect on what life is all about, he or she will find that life is about the relationships that are made- not a paycheck or a promotion.